Presently, I am a Fat Girl.
However... Sooner rather than later, I will become a Former Fat Girl... Through hard work and dedication, proper eating and LOTS of exercise, I will no longer have the body that I am in today.
Which is good, because I hate it... Every time I meet someone new, my mind screams out... "I promise this isn't what I really look like! But it's not like you could really say that to someone as you're meeting them for the first time without them thinking you were absolutely crazy.
It's just that I had the unique perspective of having already lost 100 lbs & now I get to do it again (yay for me... ugh) It's not like I'm just a girl with a goal (a huge goal) that's off to lose a bunch of weight... I've already done it & now I feel like I'm stuck in prison, biding my time in a jail cell that I hate, waiting until my jail sentence is up. But... Instead of having a pity party about it (like I did for the first few months after Kacie was born) I'm actually doing something about it & have started to see results... So now I just have to keep doing things (bootcamps, long walks (which will eventually become long runs), etc) until I've reached my goal weight & them I'll keep going with those things at a reasonable frequency as a part of a healthy lifestyle for the rest of my days.
So tonight, one of the things I did was a Hot Power Yoga class at Love Life Hot Yoga. I am not a girl that looks like I can do yoga. And a few weeks ago I wouldn't have had the courage to even go.... Because frankly, I look awful in yoga wear (for right now anyway) ... Trust me, I know what I look like & I know it's a ridiculous sight to see... I am painfully aware. But... Unless I get out and do things to work on changing my body, it won't change.
And although I don't look like someone that can do yoga, man, can I ever do yoga. There are some things that are more difficult because the excess that my body has right now won't let me bend or stretch as far as I need to (although flexibility wise I totally could) I can do quite a bit... And do it well. And I love how it makes me feel. Strong, powerful and peaceful too.
So, although I don't look like I belong in there, I totally do... And I'll keep going & it will just keep getting better and easier as time goes on.
Can't wait for this jail sentance to be up!
p.s. No picture this time because a) I'm not willing to post a picture of me in my yoga wear quite yet & b) I did this whole post from my phone & can't upload a pic from here.
Til next time, when I get around to talking about the things I said I would in my last post... Goodnight!
For a Lady that has 100 pounds to lose as well..., Thank you for your candor and honesty. You conveyed so perfectly into words, how I too feel.
ReplyDeleteYou CAN & WILL do this Kellie!!!
I will Champion you on and encourage you along the way, not only because I think you're 100% pure awesome..., But you inspire me.
Thank you for being brave to blog & share and lead out. You are a STAR Baby! Just like you said... walking turns into running... I think I am ready to take my first step again.
Keep On & Stay The Course!
HUGS!!!
You are amazing!!! I have never thought of you as anything but beautiful. You have style and presence and you inspire me to look better every single day. You and I met during the worst time of my life and I PROMISE you that the last thing I would EVER say to describe you to anyone I meet it fat girl. I would say BEAUTIFUL, KIND, GENEROUS and AMAZING. Keep up the wonderful work...and remember, your Temple might be bigger because it has to hold more GRACE than most <3
ReplyDelete